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How Counseling Can Help You Overcome Grief and Loss

At one time or other in our lives, we all encounter a great loss that is especially tough to cope with. Irrespective of whether the loss is the demise of a member of the family, good friend, or perhaps a pet, or maybe the loss of something extremely important to us, say, for example, a job, house, or family heirloom, grief is really a healthy and normal reaction.

Grief is certainly a personal experience and is made up of numerous sensations and emotions, from panic and denial, to culpability, anger, loneliness, and sorrow. Several different things can cause grief, like the loss of a business, a divorce or separation, or simply an unanticipated injury or illness. Nonetheless, by far the most difficult loss anybody is ever going to confront is likely to be the demise of a loved one, like a partner, child, or parent.

Losing somebody, or even something, we genuinely love dearly is often devastating. It feels as though the world should stop and take serious notice. But still life appears to carry on everywhere oblivious, when our very own life happens to come crashing to a stop.

While the usual grieving process takes time – very often several weeks to several months – should you, or anyone you know, discover that the grief just will not disappear, or maybe that it worsens with time, specialized aid may be required. Regardless of the reason, if left unaddressed, most grief may become severe depression and also bring about other sorts of emotional issues.

So how exactly does grief therapy help?

It is not unusual for individuals to wonder, “How can grief counseling possibly help? It will not bring back the people we’ve lost.”

Even though everybody troubled with grief must finally come to terms with their particular loss and integrate it into their life, the emotional support and understanding provided by an expert counselor or psychotherapist can help make this process a lot less distressing or exhausting.

Just as we’re all unique individuals, no two people experience grief and loss or resolve the loneliness in a similar manner. Grief therapy is about coming together with the one who is struggling.

Grief therapy is never about minimizing your loss. Instead, grief therapists offer understanding and support as you contend with, and traverse, the process of envisioning living life devoid of the beloved one you’ve lost.

Given that everybody grieves in different ways, numerous grief counseling techniques exist. People usually find it beneficial to find ways to symbolize their loss and create ways to positively remember their loved one while going forward. Some widely used grief counseling methods for doing this include:

  • Writing Therapy – Writing activities can help resolve feelings like culpability, frustration, or depression. These activities may include things like composing a “good-bye” letter for the dead, and maintaining a journal or utilizing creative writing to help resolve any kind of problems that are making the grief process more challenging.
  • Art Therapy – Artistic expression, like for example creating a scrapbook, painting, drawing, or sculpture which celebrates the life of the departed, can help people who are experiencing difficulty expressing their grief utilizing words alone. Music and poetry may also be a good means for processing despair.
  • Conversations with the Dead Person – Facilitating a “conversation” between the person who’s lamenting and the departed loved one can be a very potent therapeutic technique that gives a way to convey whatever remained unspoken at the time of passing.

Even though going through the different stages of grief is seldom easy, this kind of movement is essential to being able to resume your daily life and incorporate your loss in a healthy way.

Grief counseling and therapy cannot only help you move through the grief process, it can help you deal with whatever unresolved issues in your life that make the grief process more challenging.

Ultimately, grief counseling can help you recover a sense of purpose, uncover internal peace of mind, and rediscover happiness in life that honors the memory of the person you lost whilst allowing you to move forward with confidence and optimism.

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Writing a will that nobody will contest

How can we be sure when we prepare our will than after death it will be followed and there won’t be any lawsuits to prevent the will from being executed as envisioned?

The main purpose of inheritance law is the disposition of  a person’s assets after they pass away in the way they want them to be disposed.  The assumption in is that the person’s will reflects the desires of the deceased with regards to what will be done with his assets after he has passed away.

Yet, many times we find that after the person has passed away  there are lawsuits  between the inheritors – sometimes destroying generations of familial relationships.

Here are some good ways to make sure that this doesn’t happen.

1. Talk about the will with your inheritors.  Even though the will represents your desires , and doesn’t require approval from the inheritors, often it’s advisable to discuss it with your inheritors beforehand.  You should talk with your inheritors while preparing and let them know that you are making a will and what you plan on leaving them.  This way, if there are fights and disagreements between the  inheritors, if they occur when you are still alive you can explain why you are doing it, and readjust their expectations so that there isn’t an irreconcilable fight after your death .

2. Get a medical health certificate.  If you aren’t cognitively or medically healthy when you write the will, then often after death there are accusations regarding mental ability to legally make the will, which leads to litigation trying to nullify the will.  This applies especially if you are not healthy or are very old .  Avoid this by seeing the doctor on or about the time of executing the will and getting  a medical certificate affirming your medical condition and legal ability to sign a will.

3. Address payment of debts in the will.  Debts you have at the time of your death are supposed to be paid off against the assets you have at your passing .  Address in the will how the debts will be paid, before the rest of the assets are distributed to your inheritors.  Also, tell them how the debts will be paid off. You don’t want somebody who has been living with you and who expects to continue living in your house to find out that the house has to be sold rather than parts of your investment portfolio after you’re gone.   That’s a recipe for an ugly lawsuit between inheritors .

4. Special assets.  If you own items  that can’t be divided like a family heirloon, it’s a good idea to specifically address it in your will.  Additionally , if you’re trying to make the will “equal” in its division, you should try to “make it up” to the rest of your inheritors by giving them something equal in money value to that special object .  Alternatively, you could just direct that that item be sold and divided equally.

5. Know the law regarding life partners . In Israel a common law spouse will usually inherit by law when their life partner dies unless the will specifies something else. Talk to an Israeli lawyer . This is really important when the person has a life partner , and has children who would inherit from a previous marriage.  In a case like that it’s very important to state in your will what the kids will get and what the common law spouse gets.

6. Address what to do with the business.  If you have a business or company in your estate, especially one that you want to continue to run after you die , leave very specific instructions in your will about managing the business after your death .    If you don’t think anybody will be able or willing to continue running the business after your you pass away,  leave instructions to have it sold and the money distributed amongst your inheritors.

7. Address what to do with your home.  By law (i.e. without a will) your spouse or partner gets one half your house and your kids divide the rest when you pass away.  Many times the kids will make a motion to the court to sell the house and divide the proceeds.  This can be a recipe for  lawsuits .  Avoid the fight by leaving specific instructions in your will for as long as your life partner is alive, they live in the house.

8. Appoint an estate manager if needed.  If you think that there are going to be fights about how to carry it out when you pass away, appoint an estate manager in your will. Give them the legal powers to dispose of your assets the way you set out in the will and without involving your inheritors in the matter and in the actual division of the assets.

9. Make a detail listing of your assets.  To ensure that none of your inheritors hides from the estate and the other inheritors any assets which should be part of the estate, include in the will a complete list of assets and their location (i.e. Bank of America account xxxx or my safe at home ) etc.

10. Remember – your will is your last word to your inheritors.  You can’t change it after your death ,  and your inheritors can’t argue with you about it after you pass away – only with each other.  So, when you make your will, do so carefully and think about the relationships of those who inherit you. Don’t let your will become the instrument that creates wounds which won’t be able to heal when you’re not there anymore.



Writing A Eulogy

Eulogy as everyone knows refers to the talk that is reserved for a deceased during his funeral or a memorial service. Friends and relatives recollect memories with of a loved one and uses it as a tribute during his funeral. A Eulogy contains the following

  • A brief history of the person who has deceased
  • Other details like family, friends, work etc.
  • Important memories related to the deceased person.
  • Written work of the person or for the person. They may be anecdotes, poems, stories or scriptures etc.

An Eulogy is a heart felt acknowledgement of the person. It is considered a matter of honor to be assigned the task of writing a Eulogy or deliver a Eulogy from among the many associates of the deceased. Normally the person closest to the deceased is elected to give this tribute to the person he loved and shared happy moments with. A Eulogy acts as the perfect vehicle to fill all the members with happy memories of the deceased. It lets them remember who the person was, how did he or she live and how did they enjoy life.

While the Eulogy is directed towards the deceased, it also connects the deliverer of the Eulogy with the audience. It must be remembered that Eulogy should deal only with happy and important memories and trivial issues should not be referred to. Memories of the first meeting, growing friendship and things done together – all serve as good material for the Eulogy. The deliverer may also include the reason the person was known most for and the reason for which he or she will be missed.

Before embarking to write an Eulogy one most know more details of the person which can be achieved by talking to family members, colleagues, neighbors, friends etc. A Eulogy can also include information like

  • Person’s date of birth
  • Relationships
  • Education and career history.
  • Interests and hobbies
  • Residential address
  • Any notable achievements

Writing a Eulogy is not an easy task. Getting the facts right and presenting it in a beautiful and touching manner can help the bereaving members to come to terms with their loss.

If you need further assistance, be sure to visit this website for more Eulogy examples.

Undergoing Loss of life In The Family

Dealing with death in the family is an especially difficult tragedy to handle. The event spirals many into a deep depression, while others are more prone to anger and still others may wind up turning to destructive coping mechanisms like drinking or drugs to try to numb the emotional turmoil and pain. The way any one person reacts is incredibly difficult to predict.

How the family responds and functions as a unit going forward is also directly connected to the relationships and role the deceased had within the family. For all of these reasons and more, dealing with death in the family should be a team effort.

The family will be forever changed when it loses someone integral to how it once functioned. Don’t be surprised if stress, anger, resentment and jealousy erupt after someone else in the family has to step in and fill some of these roles. These issues can make the grieving process more difficult on some family members as well. The key is to restore as much stability as possible in order to restore how the family operates and reduce the potential for tension. Taking a practical approach to dealing with death in family units is an important part of the overall grieving process.

It’s also important to bear in mind that every family member, depending on their temperament, age and understanding of events, will deal dramatically differently with the loss. Oftentimes, the varying manners of grieving can create tensions within the family. Dealitng with death in a family is an organic and ever-changing process and it’s important to recognize that what might seem like an isolated event may actually be a symptom of the overall grieving process.

If family members can learn to recognize that they’re acting out in their grieving, they can be a better support system to one another in moving forward. The most important thing is to not pass judgemnt on another’s manner of grieving. Creating an atmosphere of openness and honesty will hopefully compel those in pain to discuss their feelings and move past them. If this is too much of a challenge, it’s a good idea to seek out the help of a professional grief counselor, either for the entire family unit or for just one particularly troubled individual. Dealing with death in family units is no easy feat and depending on the nature of the death, it may take a lifetime to overcome.

Dealing with death in the family can be tough. One of the thing you will need to do is to write a Eulogy. Here’s where you can find Eulogy examples online which can help you out.

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